Fun, Follies and Loss of Innocence in Novel Land

Tag: novel

I’m tagged as a misfit

Unnerved man at desk

When my year of novel writing flopped, I forced myself to enter the work force

If you tuned in to my prior post — A Flying Saucer Lands on Me — you know that my lifetime goal was to stay in my cheap apartment writing in my underwear.

To continue that wonderful lifestyle, I was counting on a quickie Western book to lasso me out of a deepening financial hole.

But when I tossed my manuscript over the transom of a New York publishing company, they heaved it back like a sack of mealy flour.

There was no more pretending to be a starving writer when the fiction might come true.

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A flying saucer lands on me

Man staring up at a landing UFO

How did my Old West saga turn into a space opera?

My previous post — I Give Birth to a Baby — told how I came up with a desperate ploy to get cash from a publisher so I could keep writing full-time.

I settled on churning out a western because I knew all about the Old West from watching cowboy shows on television.

Thanks to blessed inspiration and being kicked in the ass by desperation, I had the manuscript ready to go in a month.

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A sharp poke in the eye

Plaster patch on eye wound

Here’s what happened when I took on the meaning of life

As detailed in “I Get Run Off the Ranch,” finding a stable place to write was becoming a real chore, particularly when your own relatives kick you off their place.

To preserve your bankroll, you find yourself scouting out trailer parks and cramped attic dwellings as well as sketchy roommate ads.

When you’re told the rent will be figured out after you move in, you get a gut feeling that more than dollar bills will be involved. No, thanks.

Just as it looked like I might have to use PLAN B — the back seat of my car — I found an apartment with a Murphy bed.

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I get run off the ranch

Tumbleweed on a road

Devotion to writing can turn you into a tumbleweed, but with mind-reading power

If you read my first blog post, “How I Killed My Birthday Party,” you know how I busted up that birthday party by reading before I could read.

After that, like you, I went to school and learned to actually read words. From then on, I always had to have a book to read.

Surely with that background, I would be a writer someday, not just a reader.

But have you ever attempted to do something great

 . . . and it turns out . . .

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Are you desperate for a laugh?

The new issue of my newsletter tells what happened when a doctor scared the life out of teenage me.

Desktop folks: Sign up in the box at top right.

Mobile folks: Click the info icon (3 bars) that’s up above, then scroll down to Newsletter.

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I was interviewed . . .

. . . by Peter Wright on his YouTube Yak-King channel about my humorous path to becoming a writer.

Just click the link to go to it.

Yak-King channel

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I’ll tell you a story

What is it?

It’s a Dog Adventure.

For adults.

What’s it about?

Basically, a dog decides to be a hero, but he messes up relationships, creates angry enemies and panics the U.S. government.

To find out more, click Novel.

Also, this isn’t the first time I’ve written a novel.

What happened that first time?

Plenty.

Even my relatives turned against me.

It became a comedy of errors.

I’ve got a whole series about the mess.

Start with I Get Run Off the Ranch.

Anything else you got into?

You bet.

When I was a kid,  I tried to help the school’s scariest bully.

There’s lots more on my website.

Have fun.

© 2020 Phil Cobb, Author

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